How to find a fulcrum. Find a fulcrum within yourself. Psychological quotes and statements. How and when our support is formed
If you feel that everything is not going according to your scenario and is flying whirlwind ... congratulations - this is a period of changes! At such moments, all sorts of troubles happen to a person. He is haunted by failures: “frost” appears in the relationship, although yesterday everything was fabulous, at work everything is “electrified”, health starts to fail, one feels a lack of strength, apathy appears, and one wants to sit down and just cry. The world seems to be crumbling.
All these events are not the end of the world! This is a sign that you got lost and went the wrong way, and now your life is making its own adjustments so that you stop, think and find the strength to be in harmony with yourself and the world around you. These are the moments when life gives you a chance to fix everything, analyze, discard everything that pulls you down and does not allow you to develop. Probably you are so "twirled" in your affairs that you forgot about the inner world, about your real desires and dreams, lived, realizing other people's goals.
Stop
It happened to me too. For a long time I could not say goodbye to the past, and when I decided to dot everything and tackle the unresolved issues that had accumulated over a long period, quit my job, which no longer allowed me to develop, but turned into a routine. I knew exactly what I wanted, namely: to find my favorite job, to take a trip around the world. And as soon as I made a firm decision - "Yes!", Doubts, uncertainty and fear appeared inside. And I was seriously injured and broke my leg. I could not walk, lay down, put on weight and gradually lost my taste for life. I couldn't put myself together. I didn't want anyone to see me so helpless, and slowly lost touch with the outside world. So I became a hostage to my fears. Something broke in me, and I was not ready for it.
Enlightenment
And now, finally, I found the strength to go out into the street, walk on crutches, I walked slowly and looked around, looked at the passers-by. Two smiling grandfathers with chopsticks went to meet me. One of them came closer to me and said, “So young and on crutches! How so? I'm an old grandfather! And here she is so young! You must be healthy. " I smiled and the grandfathers went on, already talking to each other. “Do you know why she's on crutches? And I'll tell you this! It's just a fulcrum. "
And I thought, this is it! I lost a foothold in life when I quit my job, leaving in the past many things that pulled strings from me in order to move on to a new life, but at the same time I was so scared of the changes that I literally broke down. The moment of truth has happened. It was much easier for me to be a puppet in someone's hands than to take responsibility for my own time.
In order not to fall into the abyss of unpleasant coincidences, you need to be able to listen to yourself, stop, not run headlong for happiness, money, success! This is the same fulcrum! This is faith in yourself, so that it does not happen in life! This is hope for a happy future and gratitude for every moment!
I found my fulcrum - it's me!
From the very morning you feel as if you have “plowed” the whole day, do not have the strength, desire and mood to do something? This is called: Chronic fatigue.
The book "Ever Tired" was published by the practitioner Jacob Teitelbaum, who studies the syndrome of chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia (these are pains without a specific "location", but delivering many unpleasant minutes and even hours). Chosen from the book 6 simple ways that will help you return energy and vitality.
1. Don't forget about psychosomatics. And the word no
It is my deep conviction that any physical illness has a psychological component. I have found that most people who complain of chronic fatigue are Type A:
To some extent, this psychodynamics applies to the situation of everyday fatigue. We are constantly looking for someone's approval and avoid conflicts so as not to lose it.
We “grow above ourselves” in order to win over a person who doesn't even care about us. Whatever it concerns, we are ready to take care of everyone, except for one thing - ourselves! Does it remind you of anyone?
Excessively compassionate, you find yourself in the role of a trash can, where others dump toxic emotions. It seems that not a single "energy vampire" can pass you by. And you and only you suffer. Refuse often.
How to reverse a self-destructive tendency?
Simple enough.
In fact, the answer consists of only three letters: H-E-T. Learn to use this magic word and become free. And full of energy.
2. Realize that all things cannot be changed, and sleep more
At first glance, this is trivial advice. But you try to follow it! Realize that you still won't make it everywhere, no matter how fast you run.
In fact, you may have already noticed that the faster and more efficiently you complete tasks, the more new things you have to do. That's the trick!
If you slow down and take extra time to sleep, you will find that your to-do list is shorter and some of the things you hate to do are gone by themselves.
Plus, you’ll soon realize that 8 hours of sleep has improved your performance and started to enjoy what you’re doing.
3. Do "enjoyable sports"
If exercise were a pill, everyone would definitely take it. This is because physical activity is the key to optimizing vital energy.
Find something to do. Whether you decide to do dancing, yoga, just walking in the park, or even shopping - if you enjoy it, you will be much less likely to quit.
And be sure to incorporate exercise into your daily routine. Schedule your activities on the calendar, even if it's just a jog in the park.
4. Eat less sugar
You may be wondering, "What does sugar have to do with fatigue?" And the most direct thing. Increased sugar intake can be the cause of so-called adrenal fatigue (and at the same time - adrenal dysfunction, but this is worth discussing with your doctor).
People with adrenaline fatigue experience periods of nervousness, dizziness, irritation, and fatigue throughout the day.
But they feel relieved by eating something sweet. A sweet briefly raises their blood sugar levels to normal, they feel better, but then their sugar levels fall below normal again.
In terms of mood and energy levels in the body, this is like a roller coaster: a person is thrown from one extreme to another.For immediate relief, place a square of chocolate (preferably bitter) under your tongue and let it dissolve.This is enough to quickly raise blood sugar levels, but not enough to trigger a roller coaster ride.
What can be done?
Start by limiting your sugar and caffeine intake.
Eat small meals often, increasing your protein intake and decreasing your carbohydrate intake.Try to avoid white flour breads with added sugar and switch to whole grain breads and vegetables.
Fruit - but not fruit juices that contain concentrated sugar - can be consumed in moderation, one to two per day.If you feel irritated, eat something that contains protein.
And sugar also provokes the appearance of Candida fungi, since the growth of yeast occurs during the fermentation of sugar.By drinking half a liter of soda (it contains 12 tablespoons of sugar), you turn your intestines into a fermentation vat.
5. Do what makes you happy
As you feel better, start gradually filling your life with things that make you happy. And stop doing the things that emotionally drain you. Follow your happiness.
Perhaps the endless "I must" made you become an economist, manager, or lawyer, when your true calling is to paint, write poetry, or just raise children.
Or perhaps everything happened exactly the opposite. In any case, if you start doing what makes you happy, you are on the right track. Learn to choose what you like and get rid of what you don't like at all.
6. Feel sorry for yourself in times of stress
We often underestimate the importance of relaxation. We continue to spin like a squirrel in a wheel, even when we feel that a little more - and something inside will crack, break from emotional and physical pressure.
At such a time, you need to gather your will into a fist, try to forget about all the problems (and certainly stop feverishly doing all sorts of things) and take a break.
Take pity on yourself and your body.
Unfortunately, some people lose their footing when they are confidently told that chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and fibromyalgia (SF) or everyday fatigue are only “in their head”, and fall into a vicious circle.
They understand that, having told, among other things, about their emotional problems (and any person has them), they will only confirm the words of the half-educated doctor that their whole illness is from nerves.
At the same time, numerous studies prove that CFS / SF are quite real physical diseases.
If you have tried many methods and cannot overcome fatigue and pain in any way, it is worth looking for a good doctor.
Publisher: Gaya - August 17, 2019,
Often, when we let go of something from our life, or leave someone, this is far from a manifestation of weakness, but, on the contrary, of strength. We let go and go away not in order to create the impression that we are worth something and are self-sufficient, but because, finally, we finally realized it.
This short article is about that. First of all, about the awareness of our value. And also about how to identify negative thoughts, habits and people who need to let go and move on. For your own good.
1. The past can steal your present only if you allow it to do so.
You can spend days, weeks, months, and even years sitting in pitch darkness chewing on unpleasant situations from your past. At the same time, you will try to put the puzzles of suspicions and assumptions together, guess how everything would turn out if you said or did this and that.Or you can leave the debris of the past in the past and come out into the light. Look around, breathe in the fresh air, admire the sun. Isn't life beautiful?
2. Nothing lasts forever.
There are things in life that you wish they never happened. But they do happen, and you have to accept it. There are things you wouldn't want to hear about. But you hear it and again you accept it. And then there are people you don't want to know. But they are, and you have to put up with it.
Some situations and people pass through your life for this very purpose - to make you stronger so that you can move on without them.
3. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to face them and solve them.
Imagine how many wonderful things your mind could be busy with if you didn't spend so much time fighting. Always notice and appreciate what you have, instead of crying over what you don’t have. What matters is not what you have lost, but what you will do with what you have left.
4. Sometimes all that is needed is to give 100% and ... give up.
Don't judge yourself too harshly. A lot of other people will do it for you. Just tell yourself, “I did everything as well as I could at this moment. And that's all you can expect from anyone, including me. " Love yourself and be proud of everything you do, even if you're wrong.
Do not be ashamed of mistakes, because they indicate that you at least tried.
5. You can only be controlled by one person in the world - you yourself.
There is only one way to be happy. This is to stop worrying about things that you cannot control. When you end a relationship, it doesn't mean that you don't give a damn anymore. It just means that the only one you have control over is yourself. And you clearly realized this.
6. What is right and good for you may not be acceptable to others. And vice versa.
Think for yourself and let other people do the same. Each has its own truth. There are only a few absolute "right" and "wrong" in the world. You must live your life and go your own way - the path that will be right for you.
7. Some people will refuse to accept you as you are. And that's okay.
Always be honest with yourself, even if you have to go through a barrage of ridicule from other people to do this. It's better than lying to yourself and feeling pain pretending to be someone to please the common people. If you feel comfortable in this "skin", no one in the whole world can tell you how to be.
For comparison: a ripe and ruddy apple on a tree should not be different just because someone does not like apples.
8. Relationships can be built only on openness, in them lies are unacceptable.
When a relationship falls apart, it's always a difficult conversation. You may not be nice or nice while doing this. Naturally, there is little pleasant in this. But if you are willing to hear and speak the truth, it will be much easier. When your relationship is built on truth and total openness, and not on lies, pretense and falsehood, you can always save them. And sincere conversation is the first step towards the health of your union.
9. The world changes when you change.
Seeing everything for real is looking at what is in front of you. Today you are where your thoughts and beliefs are. Then you will be where they will take you tomorrow. If you want to truly change your life, you must first change your mindset. The world around you changes only when you change.
10. You either make decisions or make excuses.
Life is a creative problem solving puzzle. And no mistake is a failure as long as you are determined to fix it. Therefore, a long streak of failures is possible only if you make excuses, but do not take risks and do not make decisions.
11. It is very easy to kill a person's dream - with just a few remarks.
Be careful with comments about other people, their dream is so easily ruined. And don't let anyone do that to yours. Don't let others interrupt you and tell you that you can't do something. If you have a dream, protect it with all your heart.
People who criticize you don't dream of anything, so they try to clip your wings. Don't trust them. Believe in yourself and your dream. They drew themselves the framework in which they live. Even in thoughts, it seems impossible for them to go beyond the limits.
12. Sometimes leaving is the only way to win.
Do not waste time explaining to people who are not even trying to understand you, they are so confident that they are right. In other words, don't throw pearls in front of pigs. No matter how many arguments you give, you will not be heard.
So just say to yourself, “This nonsense isn't even worth my time. Farewell".
Publisher: Gaya - August 17, 2019,
Print it out, put it on the refrigerator and read it once a day to children, parents and loved ones. Especially those who were disliked in childhood and those who are suspicious of unconditional love. In a month, it should feel much better.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you always.
I love you just like that.
I love you because you exist.
I love you because you are you.
I love you even when you're wrong.
I love you even when you disagree with me.
I love you even when it’s difficult for me to be with you.
I love you even when I am angry with you.
I love you even when we are at odds.
I love you even when you are angry.
I love you even when you bully.
I love you even when you say no to me.
I love you even when you say you don’t love me. I love you even when it is not beneficial to me.
I love you even when we want different things.
I love you even when you leave.
I love you even when you are better with other people.
I love you even when you don't live up to my expectations.
I love you even when you love others.
I love you even when you are silent.
I love you even when you fail.
I love you even when you are slow or in a hurry.
I love you even when you don't know what you want.
I love you even when you don’t love yourself.
I love you even when you change or remain the same.
I love you even when I can't understand you.
I love you even when I say I don’t love you.
I love you. even when I say I hate you.
I love you equally when you feel good and when you feel bad.
I love you even when I feel bad.
I love you, even if now I want to be separate from you.
I love you and I need it.
I love you and that's enough for me.
You don't owe me anything for my love.
I owe you nothing for my love.
Publisher: Gaya - August 17, 2019
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"Relaxation bestows prosperity."
Tatiana Samarina
Many people cannot imagine how you can be relaxed and still earn more. “To get more, you need to work harder” - that's all the mind of a person who is used to working hard for what he has is based on.
This is the main mistake of workaholics and those who, in principle, want big money. Thoughts about work do not leave such a person either at home or on vacation. More precisely, rest, as such, does not happen in his life. He just doesn't allow himself to relax. Even if a person “took” his body to the beach, internally he remains in tension. It seems to him that it is worth weakening his attention and even mentally leaving the process - and everything will stop, stop working and generally go to hell with money.
The pendulum holds the person tightly: "Either you work for wear and tear and then you will be rich - or you relax and get nothing." "Either - or" - this is the basic rule of the pendulum, and in order to get rid of its influence, you need to realize that there are always more than two options.
You can achieve your goals on an inner intention. It works, but it takes a lot of time and effort. And often sacrifice your health and personal happiness.
Everyone who practices Reality Transurfing knows that achieving your goals can be faster and easier, and the result can be many times greater if you use the External Intention. To tap into this power, you need to be able to do two things: be focused on the goal and at the same time relaxed. And this is the most difficult thing, because being in the pendulum, it is difficult to see the way out.
Here are a couple of examples of what it looks like in real life.
The girl dreams of becoming a singer, but she does not have time to take vocals, because she is from morning till night at an unloved job, which she is afraid to leave or at least change in order to free herself up time for creativity.
A man dreams of diving and paragliding. He says, “Not now. First, I have to start earning more, and only then I will start to relax and do all these interesting things. "
"Relaxation bestows prosperity." To understand this phrase, remember that the energy of External Intention is the energy of the Universe. Imagine your connection to her right now. Imagine that you are part of the universe. Imagine that you are the universe itself. How did you feel? Expansion, totality, calmness.
When you are caught in the pendulum of money, you are tight and tense. What do you feel? Most likely - tension, anxiety, stress. While you are in this state, you are simply not able to accept and pass the energy of the Universe through you.
Money is also energy. The energy of big money is a powerful and at the same time light and mobile flow that you can pick up and move with it. But this is possible only if your inner state resonates with this flow.
To tap into the energy of the Universe, use Outer Intention and be in flow, you must learn to relax. Relaxing doesn't mean giving up your business and doing nothing. This means choosing a fundamentally different internal state and a different attitude to the process of making money.
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Since childhood, many of us are taught to fulfill someone else's will. People fulfill their duties, serve the fatherland, family, idea. Each person, to one degree or another, has feelings of responsibility or guilt. Each of us "serves" in various groups and organizations: family, political party, club, educational institution, etc. All these structures are born and continue to develop if a separate group of people thinks and acts in the same direction. When other adherents join, the structure grows and gains strength. She forces her members to adhere to the established rules and, as a result, is able to subjugate a large number of people. This is how structures are formed, which in Reality Transurfing are called pendulums.
“Any obsessive thought is a pendulum. Don't let those pendulums swing in your head that damage your prosperous life. Pendulums in the form of thoughts are trying to impose their game on you. Get ahead of them. And suggest your game. "
Communities of people who think in the same direction create energy-informational structures - pendulums. These structures develop and subject a person to their own laws. People do not realize that, against their will, they are acting in the interests of the pendulums.
ADVICE # 1. RECOGNIZE PENDULUMS
Pendulums appear when the thoughts of several people are concentrated in one direction. The mental energy of each person of a particular group is combined into a single stream. The pendulum begins to live independently and subordinates to its laws the people who are involved in its creation.
Why is this structure called a "pendulum"? Because the more adherents it has, the more it swings like a pendulum. According to this principle, this term was designated in the books of Vadim Zeland about Reality Transurfing. In this case, the pendulums are powered by human energy. If there are fewer adherents of such an energy-informational structure, its vibrations will fade away. When there are no adherents at all, the pendulum stops moving and dies. Here are just a few examples of extinct pendulums: ancient religions, stone tools, ancient weapons, outdated fashion trends, vinyl records.
Any pendulum is inherently destructive, that is, destructive, unproductive. After all, he takes energy from his adherents and dominates them. The pendulum does not care about the fate of every person. He has only one goal - to receive energy, and it does not matter whether it will benefit people or not.
If a person is lucky, he finds his place in the system and feels himself there, like a fish in water. He, as an adherent, gives energy to the pendulum, and the pendulum, in turn, provides him with a favorable environment for existence. As soon as a person begins to violate the rules of the structure, the pendulum can no longer receive energy from the person. And gets rid of the obstinate adherent.
When a person is carried away from the favorable lines of life, the existence in the structure of an alien pendulum becomes a dull hard labor. This kind of pendulum is one hundred percent destructive for an adherent. A person, in this case, loses his freedom, is forced to live according to the laws of a pendulum and be a cog in a large mechanism - whether he likes it or not.
The main thing is to learn to recognize the pendulum and not accept its rules of the game without benefit for yourself. A destructive pendulum is very easy to recognize by its main distinguishing feature. He always competes with other pendulums in the fight for people. The aim of the pendulum is to get as much energy as possible, for which it needs to capture as many adherents as possible. The more aggressive the pendulum is in this struggle, the more destructive it is, that is, dangerous to humans.
Of course, one can object to the above. After all, there are, for example, various charitable organizations, what is destructive in them? For each person personally, this is that they, in any case, feed on your energy. And the pendulums have nothing to do with your happiness and well-being. These structures call to be merciful to others, but not to yours. If you feel comfortable in these conditions, and you are really happy doing this, then you have found your calling, your pendulum.
TIP # 2: BLOW OUT AND KNOW THE PENDULUMS
To reject what is unacceptable to you, you first need to accept it. To accept means not to let in, but to recognize the right to life and pass by with indifference. This is called pendulum failure. In other words, accept and let go, let go and say goodbye. Always agree to the first attack of the pendulum, and then carefully retreat or, as if by accident, direct the movement in a direction favorable to you. Don't cling - ignore what annoys you and it will disappear from your life. When the pendulum has nothing to catch on to, it falls into emptiness.
Getting into an unwanted situation or receiving bad news can throw you off balance. According to the standard scenario, you should be worried, scared, wilted, discouraged, displeased, irritated. Do the opposite: react inappropriately, break the script. Make a substitution: change fear for confidence, despondency for enthusiasm, indignation for indifference, irritation for joy. This is called extinguishing the pendulum. The essence of pendulum play is to throw you off balance. You need to deliberately break the rules of this game - do anything, just not what is expected of you. Victory will be yours.
When you succumb to the provocation of the pendulums, you seem to fall asleep. Because you are completely immersed in the imposed game. Your mind is zombified with what is happening. If a person is annoyed with something, consider that he is walking with a hook in his head. The pendulum clings to this hook and instantly finds suitable stimuli. In order to "remove the hook from the head", it is necessary to change the attitude towards the stimulus. Divert your attention, come to terms with the situation, switch to something else. Changing attitudes does not mean suppressing emotions. After all, driven deep into themselves - they are also evil. Having accumulated, such evil will certainly break free and become food for pendulums. It is better to first give vent to feelings, and then consciously correct your attitude. Fighting pendulums is pointless. They must either be ignored, or negative emotions must be promptly replaced with positive ones.
Communities of people who think in the same direction create energy-informational structures - pendulums. In this case, the pendulums are powered by human energy. The aim of the pendulum is to get as much energy as possible, for which it needs to capture as many adherents as possible. Any pendulum is inherently destructive, that is, destructive, unproductive. The main thing is to learn to recognize the pendulum and not accept its rules of the game without benefit for yourself. To extinguish the pendulum, one must accept and release it, pass it through oneself and say goodbye. When you succumb to the provocation of the pendulums, you seem to fall asleep. If a person is annoyed with something, consider that he is walking with a hook in his head. Fighting pendulums is pointless. They must either be ignored, or negative emotions must be promptly replaced with positive ones.
Publisher: Gaya - August 17, 2019
I know one trap that all people who decide to change themselves fall into. It lies on the surface, but it is so cunningly arranged that none of us will pass by it - we will definitely step on and get confused.
The very idea of “changing yourself” or “changing your life” leads us straight to this trap. The most important link is overlooked, without which all efforts will go to dust and we may end up in an even worse position than we were.
We've been taught to break ourselves
Wanting to change ourselves or our lives, we forget to think about how we interact with ourselves or with the world. And what will happen depends on how we do it.
For many of us, the main way we interact with ourselves is violence. From childhood, we were taught that we need to break ourselves in order to get the desired result. Will, self-discipline, no indulgence. And whatever we offer such a person for development, he will use violence.
Need to set goals and achieve them? I will drive myself into illness, fighting to achieve five goals at once.
Children need to be raised by affection? We will caress the children to hysterics and at the same time we will put pressure on our own needs and irritation on the children - there is no place for him in the brave new world!
We become like a person who masters different tools, knowing only one thing: to hammer in nails. He will use a hammer, a microscope, a book, and a saucepan. Because he knows nothing but hammering in nails. If something does not work out, he will start hammering "nails" into himself ...
And then there is obedience - one of the forms of violence against oneself. It lies in the fact that the main thing in life is the conscientious observance of instructions. Inherited childish obedience, but now instead of parents there are business gurus, psychologists, politicians, journalists ...
The psychologist's words about how important it is to clarify your feelings in communication will be perceived as an order with this method of interaction.
Not "important to clarify," but "always clarify." And, sweating, ignoring our own horror, we will go to explain to everyone with whom we were previously afraid.
Having not yet found any support, no support in oneself, only on the energy of obedience - and as a result, falling into depression, destroying both oneself and the relationship.
And punishing oneself for failures: "I was told how right - but I could not!"
Infantile? Yes. And ruthlessly to himself.
Very rarely does another way of dealing with ourselves appear in us - caring. When you examine yourself carefully, discover your strengths and weaknesses, and learn to deal with them. You learn to be self-supporting, not self-adjusting. Gently, not in a hurry - and catching yourself by the hand when the habitual violence against oneself rushes forward. Otherwise, you can start taking care of yourself with such a frenzy that no one will be happy.
And by the way: with the appearance of care, the desire to change oneself often disappears.
Have you noticed that little is known about the lives of truly rich people? That sometimes they, having a private plane and a villa in the Canary Islands, wear old clothes? One would think that this is from greed or because of the fear of persecution of any services, but the point is different.
In neurology, a pronounced VSD (I will not describe in detail for a long time), therefore my mother and sister did not like me, I became an outcast and a scapegoat for the closest people. Mom is a very weak person, psychologically she could not cope with her sick daughters and hung on I have a guilt complex that I ruin her life, and "I invent all the problems." my infancy, and myself as a poor unhappy mother ... I was a black sheep in society, my sister, who was a leader by nature, and everyone loved and respected her most of all, I received kicks instead of the protection and help that was needed in my weak state. At the age of 19, I met my husband, who turned out to be a tyrant, he was the only "close" person in my life who betrayed me, then I was left alone with the child ... I left my husband on my own. get out in a few years, so far. I have no more strength live. There are no friends, relatives, work, education, health .. There is no foothold, I am completely alone. Relatives build summer cottages, travel abroad ... they do not have time for me .. occasionally they give handouts, because it is important for them to feel "good people "out of a sense of duty, but in my situation, their" kindness "will not in any way affect my life and the way out of depression, there are no close friendships. I asked for help and told me where I was, but everyone doesn’t care. but everyone condemns me .. There is no money for paid medical services, for fitness, courses .. also. I’m in a vacuum. I have read a lot of psychological literature, but the main problem is I am alone, completely exhausted. How to cope with the contempt and rejection of others ...
Nina! Yes, your condition is understandable, it is very difficult to be alone, without outside support, understanding and help. Therefore, it is really worthwhile to focus on yourself and gradually change your destiny. There is a sense of doom and despair in your description, and only you yourself can get out of this! There is an explanation for what is happening to you now - this is your past, there were some situations that as a result of this traumatic moment you behave now as you behave and perceive yourself accordingly. Now there are many psychotechnologies that allow you to make quick changes, recycle old negative experiences, and you will become what you want to become. The right thoughts will come to a clean head and it will become clear how best to act here. This work with your life line, when the memory is overwritten, and the problem will be significantly reduced. You can go to my website, there are many examples based on real work with clients, in the * Articles * section, incl. for personal problems, and with a wide variety of conditions. There are situations in life when some negative experience has accumulated in us, or your psyche could not process something and cope with it, hence there is no motivation for action, anger, aggression, silt, although the reason is somewhat different. maybe there was something in your past so negative that your memory amnessed these stories for you, but a trace of it remained. I have articles on my site on a variety of fears. Perhaps you have lost somewhere the meaning of life. And in life it happens that we can receive some unpleasant events in life for our problem state. It is worth dealing with all this, removing what has now accumulated in you and leading you to new positive states and changes. On my site there is material on a variety of problems, you can read it. I think this will help you understand something for yourself. Let me drop one of my articles)) Good luck!)
Become and be a self-confident person. Posted in Articles | March 20, 2015
If we take into account that the vast majority of people have low self-esteem, and the rest have a fragmentary (I would say so) low self-esteem - only in some area of self-realization, then work on self-confidence in all areas of life.
And as an example, I want to give you a small work with a client from Moscow, a girl of 23 years old, where, among other problem conditions, self-doubt and low self-esteem were declared.
It is worth noting that problems are always based on some past negative experience, starting from distant childhood. So it was this time.
The first memory is the early age when the father drank, there were constant scandals in the family, little attention was paid to the girl. She generally grew up as an unloved and not very happy child, hence the first problems with self-esteem. I helped her change this situation, and the client filled herself with self-esteem, self-love and inner light.
The next recollection of difficulties in relationships with classmates. The client told that she was * rot * (the girl's words) from 4th to 9th grade, until she moved to another school, where the situation became much better. Here we brought to her awareness the information that she would never be a schoolgirl, and living with the problems of those years, worsening the quality of her life here and now, does not make any sense.
Then there was a story about problems with boys in adolescence. Somehow the relationship did not work out, and the client understood for herself: "They probably don't like me, I'm worse than others." In addition, then there was a guy who she really liked, but when they met a little closer, he said that the girl was suitable for him only for sex, but not for a relationship. And from this, self-esteem again crept down.
The problem state was in the form of a gray shroud, and we replaced that with self-confidence. An understanding came that at that time these were only the first tests, and not all of them are successful, for a variety of reasons, and not at all because she is worse than others.
The following story had a more or less favorable appearance, But, nevertheless, it presented a certain problem for the client. She was already married for several years, but she was very jealous of her husband. In his environment (at work) there were girls of model appearance, and the client considered herself the most ordinary girl. Here I also had to work as an experienced psychologist, sexologist and psychotherapist. We used * self-image *.
The image of the model was as follows: “She is taller than me, thinner. And I stand and feel my constriction (we changed this for self-confidence and inner strength). " Next came stiffness, it symbolized a chain, and emancipation became an altered state. Then - comparing yourself with others. The problem state looked like a mirror, we also removed it and replaced it with the realization that * I am better *. And there were grounds on this score. Among all the other girls, her husband chose her. And when we began to check how much the problem was solved, the girl saw a changed picture and said: “now I see that I am standing above her (the model she saw at the beginning)”.
And further, in order to consolidate her positive changes, I asked her a question: ***** What makes you stand out from other girls, what is in you, but not in them? And she answered the following: sincerity, care, warmth, tenderness and affection.
Each of us has something for which we can be loved, and how we differ from others. But when we have problems with self-esteem and self-doubt, then all this remains in the shadows, and our problem comes to the fore, hiding all the best in us.
So, draw your own conclusions, gentlemen!
Afanasyeva Lilia Veniaminovna, psychologist Moscow
Good answer 2 Bad answer 0If you take a closer look at the activity of people in this world, you will find that most of them, not knowing this, are in constant search of support. But in reality, people almost never find it, because there can be no genuine inner support in the external world. Petr Zorin
When we internally focus on objective reality, our happiness begins to depend on the external world. And then the outside world is forced to continue to provide us with support: material, emotional, financial, physical, related to relationships. If suddenly there is a failure and supply is cut off, we are in a deep crisis. Petr Zorin
People who do not have an inner support sometimes assume that it can be found in another person. The unexpected behavior of a loved one is then regarded as the collapse of all supports. No one has ever succeeded in trying to compensate for the lack of their own inner support.
If you are tired of exerting yourself, you have lost faith in yourself, what you want no longer seems so alluring - all these actions were not connected with inner support.
To reach maturity, a person needs to overcome his desire to receive support from the world around him and find new sources of support in himself.
Maturity or mental health is the ability to move from reliance on the environment and from self-regulation by the environment to self-reliance and self-regulation. Frederick Perls
The main condition for both self-reliance and self-regulation is a state of balance. The condition for achieving this balance is the awareness of their needs, the distinction between major and minor.
Self-reliance grows and grows around when you gain the ability to do what you see fit. Do whatever your environment thinks about it. You yourself should have a sense of the importance of what you are doing.
Growing up, or maturity, occurs when a person mobilizes his strength and abilities to overcome depression, anxiety, disappointment, despair and fear, arising from the lack of support from others.
A situation in which a person cannot take advantage of the support of others and rely on himself is called a dead end. Maturity is about taking risks to get out of a dead end.
The search for the guilty or the desire to manipulate deprives a person of a foothold. Recognizing your responsibility opens up a sea of opportunities, freedom and choice.
The fulcrum in oneself gives the realization that the source of happiness, stability, reliability is within us, gives strength to meet different situations calmly, with wisdom and courage.
The support in oneself is love, guided by inner wisdom, and it does not depend on the results obtained from the outside. She is not driven by fear, not based on titles and titles, points of view, property, money, a specific person or some kind of external activity. Daviji
The most powerful support in the world is love, the strongest support in life is the inner core. Juliana Wilson
People who have true inner support are self-sufficient. They don't need someone to support them, prove them right, or comfort them. One of the very important characteristics of such people is their inner honesty with themselves. Petr Zorin
Any external changes begin within us, with a change in the focus of our perception. As soon as we find ourselves and believe in ourselves, many of our problems, which seemed insoluble, will go away. A person who wants to become a channel of universal power must learn to accept himself and rely on himself.
When a person finds a fulcrum within himself, mental stereotypes of the environment cease to play a decisive role for him. He does not accept other people's opinions as irrefutable authority. He does not grovel before customs and traditions. He does not accept the sense of duty imposed on him. Even without feeling the need to go into conflict with people, he will be internally free from their conventions. For this reason, it is difficult to seduce or intimidate a person who trusts himself. He does not respond well to pressure or manipulation.
Such a person trusts himself, and not his opinions and views - and therefore it will not be difficult for him to change his point of view when the need arises. He values truth more than a specific formulation of truth.
The cultivation of will, courage, justice and honesty in oneself changes the relationship of a person with the outside world and leads to the maturation of the personality. There are also feedbacks, which, when the above four external manifestations of the inner spirit are brought up, open the human heart and thereby reveal its spirit.
When a fulcrum is found, then a person feels a desire to act, realize his abilities, set goals, go towards them, and develop. And when a person thinks and acts, he simply does not have time for suffering inherent in the state of external support.
The goal of a person relying on himself is to strive for self-realization of his destiny on Earth. He chose for himself a path that has no end, on which his aspirations for infinite perfection will be satisfied. The external world for him, in which all other people live, will simultaneously serve as a school for him, in which all the events that take place will serve as lessons for him on his way to infinite perfection, and at the same time, external reality will be the basis of his physical existence on The earth. Petr Zorin
And only the heart can tell each person whether he really needs where he is going, and it may turn out that, even if the rest of the Earth's population needs it, he is the only one whose Path should lie in a different direction. And this direction is the direction of harmonizing your being. Enmerkar
When we rely on ourselves for everything, we believe that we are the divine self-expression of the universe and that our words, thoughts and actions reflect the divine. Daviji
A fulcrum is a state in which nothing affects us, and we ourselves are able to return ourselves to a state in which we influence the situation in the right way, harmoniously manifesting ourselves.
Be a lamp to yourself
Be a support to yourself
Stick to your own truth
as the only light. Erich Fromm
Find a fulcrum in yourself. Growing up and maturity of the individual. Psychological quotes and statements.
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